- Company: The Catholic Church
- Salary: I created Heaven and Earth. What do
you need? - Location: Mostly Vatican City, sometimes on
tour. Popemobile ride provided. - Job Type: Full time, until you die. Seriously...
- So a unique position has come available as the head of the Catholic Church.
- Contact: God. Sometimes hard to reach but always there
- Telephone: 020 7408 7273
- Email: onestepclosertogod@jobbounties.com
- Application Deadline: While the black smoke is still coming out the Sistine Chapel.
Hi there, God here. Seeing as I haven’t had to deal with a Pope walk out since 1415, I’m looking for some divine intervention to help with finding the new guy. The last few have been a bit of a let down, so I’m up for a change and appointing a lady Pope. Unfortunately, the Congregation insists on a secret ballot and I always get out-voted. Speaking of moving with the times, Pope Benedict XVI was a bit of a hit on Twitter (which I invented BTW) so I’ve asked social recruitment experts Job Bounties to put the word out and help me find his replacement.
Essential qualifications include:
- Fluent in Latin – generally good at spreading the word.
- Keen interest in the Catholic Church.
- Grey hair and wise looking, but definitely younger than that last guy.
- Tolerance for all mankind.
- Must be male though.
- Holier than Thou would make a nice change. If your past indiscretions are anything like what these 10 naughty Popes got up to, you aren’t getting the gig: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,1981842,00.html
Benefits:
- Reports to one line manager.
- I can show you cool party tricks like turning water into wine. Speaking of which, you must like a drop of the red stuff (sacramental wine) and be okay with the odd carb when breaking bread.
- Chauffeur provided so no driving license required.
- Pretty sweet bachelor pad and fine robes. Yeah the Pope’s hat is technically a tiara. But you will be the Pope, so no one will make fun of you.
- Access to over 1,500,000 Twitter followers instantly.
- Over 1 billion members in the Church. Suck on that Facebook.
- Possibility of canonization – only if you take your duty like a saint and die in the job.
*Job Bounties Terms and Conditions:
Job Bounties works by using bounty hunters to recommend the best candidates in their network for suitable jobs. Employers set their own bounties, ensuring it reflects the true market value of the vacancy. As money is no object to this employer, you won’t get any.
The bounty of eternal life is only paid out if the role is right for all parties after a set probationary period. As Pope Benedict XVI was under probation for the rest of his natural life, the referral fee of eternal life would have been null and void as he didn’t fulfil his contractual obligations.
For a list of other more down to earth bounties, please visit www.jobbounties.com
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